Happy Friday everyone! Last week I reviewed Alien Covenant, which was a hot mess, and this week I’m reviewing a film that is somehow an even hotter mess. It’s so depressingly bad that I forgot to review it yesterday, so I’m going to hammer out a review for it RIGHT NOW! Ladies and gents…Baywatch?
Story: The story here? A drug lord is taking over the city and lifeguards have to save the day. Yes my children, it is as absurd as it sounds. It’s a parody of the original TV series and while it could’ve been Pain and Gain level of absurdness that is solid comedy gold, it isn’t. What we have here is a sad excuse of a film that seems to be written by 5 year olds. There’s almost nothing of worth to watch here. A few stand out moments swimming in a sea of crap.
Acting: The “acting” here is virtually non-existent. It’s as if they just wanted all the actors and actresses to be eye-candy and not actually act, which is a shame because there are some good actors here. The Rock has been slowly maturing in his roles, Zac Efron has become a solid comedy actor, and Alexandra Daddario is a saint. However, in this film, they are all just……just……..stupid. Not funny stupid or ironic stupid. Just stupid. I’ll give a bonus point here for David Hasselhoff’s cameo but that’s the beginning and end of the good points of this category.
Presentation: You’d think this would be the easy part. All you need is beaches, hot people, and some water. Maybe an occasional explosion. You’d think that’d be easy. But you’re wrong. This movie actually looks atrocious. And the music isn’t even that good. I’m taking a stand on this one. One point!
Effect: Ok. This film can be funny….at times. I’d file it under the category of “it’s so bad I can’t help but chuckle at it,” but that’s really it. I’m sure it’s funnier with some friends but the reality is that this isn’t a genuinely funny film and it’s not even a good film to make fun of.
Other: Final thoughts? Just don’t watch it. If you want to see a ridiculous film with Dwayne Johnson, go see Pain and Gain because that is a gem of a film and everyone should go see it.
What a shame. Some are calling Baywatch the biggest disappointment of the year and that is certainly the case. It could’ve been great. Instead, it’s crap.
Story: 3
Acting: 2
Presentation: 1
Effect: 4
Other: 3
Score: 2.6
No Duty to Watch 
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