Happy Super Bowl Monday (still hoping for that national holiday btw). Hope everyone had an enjoyable Super Bowl Sunday…oh. Oh. You didn’t watch the Super Bowl. Huh. Well that’s strange. Well fear not my fellow amigos! Since I only saw one movie last week (and it sucked…don’t go see Miss Bala…it’s really bad) I thought I’d instead review Super Bowl LIII! So let’s get to it!
National Anthem: A small but important part of the big game, the national anthem was pretty good this year. It wasn’t “traditional” though the anthem at the Super Bowl rarely is. I think overall it was a good start to the evening. Score: A-
First Half: Someone on Twitter summed the first half up pretty well: excellent for Pats and Rams fans and boring for everyone else. Patriots only scored a measly 3 points and overall nothing really happened. Don’t get me wrong. A low scoring half of football can be riveting but that is only when the defense is ruling the hour. Here, it was like half good defense and half zero energy from either offense. After 30 minutes of football, SBLVII wasn’t looking too good. Score: C-
Halftime Show: WOW. Yikes. That was bad. Maybe I’m biased since I’m a rock and metal fan, but these recent halftime shows have just been straight up boring. The point of the halftime show is to keep the viewers interested. Take Bruno Mars’ show from a few years ago. I have exactly 0% interest in Bruno Mars but he put on a fun and energetic show. The kind of show that makes you tap your foot. Or the Bruce Springsteen show from like a decade ago. Those are good shows. This. Wasn’t. Maroon 5 played like they’ve never played in front of a crowd before. And their guests just felt out of place. Just a giant disappointment. I hope next year they can get a fun band to keep everyone interested until the teams come back to the field. Score: D
Second half: The second half wasn’t much better. I’d say out of 60 minutes of football, there was probably 8 minutes of good/halfway decent football action. Now granted. Those 8 minutes all came in the second half. Unfortunately for the NFL, that don’t mean squat unless your a Pats fan. Score: B
Commercials: And here is where most people actually sat through this atrocity…or maybe not because the commercials sucked too. There were some decent ones. The short but succinct Avengers: Endgame trailer was AAAAAAAAMAZING and the NFL 100 commercial was pretty hilarious (and reminiscent of commercials of Super Bowls past). However that was about it. Over the past several year, the commercials, once the icing on top of the Super Bowl cake, just have not hit the mark in any way. The Tide ad from last year (I think it was last year) was great but that is the only great ad I can think of in the past 5 or 6 Super Bowls. Shame. Score: C+
Overall, this was HANDS DOWN the worst super bowl I’ve ever seen. And when it comes to the game itself, it is one of the most boring football games I have had the pleasure of sitting through. Point is, if you missed this one, don’t worry. You didn’t miss much.
Super Bowl LIII Score: C
See you next week with your regularly scheduled programming!
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